You get what you give...

Some of you may have read this before, It is from one of my myspace blogs. I am ammending it, because it seems DAILY, that I am reminded of this topic.

I don't think people realize just how very much their every action impacts the person their child becomes... Today, my son held the door for someone because that is what his father and I do for others. We haven't told him to do it. He watches us and learns from us. (Don't worry folks- I'm not hopping on my brag box. This is the same reason why last month this same son told my mother-n-law that we are supposed to yell "G** Damn It" when we honk the horn.)

I have come to learn that children are like sponges, they absorb and grow every second of every day. If they are exposed to good and loving, positive behavior then that is what they absorb and grow full of...and likewise, when they are exposed to negative behavior, be it arguing parents, cussing, put downs or bullying, bad manners, or violence; that, as well, is what they absorb and become full of...And folks, just like a sponge, when they are squeezed...whatever life put in them is what comes out!

Parenting is our greatest challenge, responsibility, and OPPORTUNITY as human beings. We have created life and thrown a stone in the pond of the earth from which ripples will be felt for GENERATIONS to come. How we treat others and how we allow ourselves to be treated in front of our children is being etched into their brains like a record...and they will not only mimic that behavior, they will accept it as universal law. That's right ladies. I'm telling you that the way you let your crappy husband storm out of the house when he's mad is exactly how your daughter is going to allow her boyfriend treat her and WORSE- that's how your son is going to treat his girlfriends... I'm letting you know that when you blow your child off because you are too busy talking on the phone to listen to their exciting kid story, you are teaching them a life lesson--and that is that they aren't important to you. I'm telling you that every time you snap at them in a rude voice instead of taking that deep breath and remembering that you are the adult...not only are you hurting them, you are adversely affecting their life and thus the lives of others. They will go forth with this knowledge that children aren't a priority and they will treat their children the same. Not only that, but if parents, who are supposed to love their children more than anyone or thing on the planet, do not prove this love on a daily, hourly, even minute by minute basis; then tell me how your child is going to grow up with any sense of self worth or pride? It pains me deeply to see the look on a child's face when they approach their parents busting with pride over a painting or googly eyed art project, only to get a blase response, or a "don't bother me right now". What did your child learn from that?

Now, take the same situation and reverse the parental reaction. Instead of the blow off, the parent takes 10 seconds of attention away from what they are doing, and gives their full attention to the child. They give them positive reinforcement and maybe even pick out a specific detail of the subject to highlight. Your child not only walks away with a smile on their face, they leave the moment knowing that they are important to you and that their effort was worth the result. In a tenth of a minute, you have given your child self pride and motivation to draw/write/sing again. How could that return not possibly be worth the investment?

Raising children isn't easy. So get some knowledge folks! Would you expect a surgeon to walk into a procedure without years of education? Yet most people don't even think to pick up a book when it comes to raising kids...they even scoff at the thought. Grow up and get smart. Read some books, take some advice, and most importantly pay attention to your child's response to your actions. Learn from it. If they don't walk away from your interaction (and this includes punishment) with a positive look on their faces, then you haven't done your job as a parent. Period, end of story.

These are your living, laughing, loving, kids I'm talking about. When is the last time your five year old held the door for anyone lately?

You don't have to be happy about it, you just have to be here!

Yep. That's what I just told my fellow Saturday co worker. We don't have to be happy about it, we just have to be here. 5 hours down, 7 to go. I currently work on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, twelve hours a shift, so that my husband and I didn't have to put the boys in daycare this summer. So four days a week, I spend at home with my wonderful sons being a Mom and the other three days I spend from dusk til dawn at the job from Hell.
What makes my job so tough, you ask? Am I a public defender, or an emergency room doctor, or some other critically relevant, extremely tiring profession? Umm, no. I sit in a 6x6 cubicle, on the tenth floor of a medical office building, behind a desk, underneath fluorescent lights, and I TYPE. Technically, I don't just type, I 10- key as well, but mostly I just hit the tab and enter keys and the space bar all day. My official job title is "Lab Billing Specialist"; but without my name badge I am but a mere paper pusher (and not even a glorified one). What is so bad about that? Well, in addition to the aforementioned reasons, the single thing that makes me most miserable at work, is the mindless nature of my job. It requires little to no attention. I think that a someone with a first grade reading level and well, probably first grade computer skills too, could do my job with ease. Without getting into the complexities of it, I will just tell you that I basically pick up a stack of labwork requisitions (either the pink, white or yellow copy of dr's orders that you give a lab when they draw your blood), I type the visit number into the computer and verify that their insurance is correct and press some keys until "tadah(!)" I have billed an insurance company.

With that said, It should not shock you to hear that the only reason I make it through the day is because I have an ipod. My itouch is the only thing that keeps me sane. Are you wondering how I don't get tired of hearing the same 16gigs of songs over and over? Well, the key is that I rarely listen to actual music. The beauty of my technological Jesus, is that it doesn't just hold music. I load that puppy up with anything and everything I can find cheap on itunes. 99 cent movies, music videos, pod casts, and I fill it daily with cheesy shows from the sci-fi channel, and even the occasional Lifetime movie. It doesn't matter what it's about or who is in it, the only thing that matters is that it keeps brain so occupied, that it actual thinks it is being used during my work day!
Oh and did I mention that I can "read books" while working too? Audiobooks are the best invention that PBS has ever come up with, including using Jordy Laforge to teach kids about books! (I don't claim to know with absolute certainty that the people at PBS invented audiobooks, but it definitely sounds like something their minds would come up with. Currently my thought bubble contains a board meeting with several Albert Einstein and Joan Cusack looking types sitting around. Albert :"Now that we have tricked children everywhere into learning while laughing at puppets with ridiculous accents by creating Sesame Street, AND have made safe all senior citizens whom previously left their homes on the most dangerous night of the week, by airing pre-1960 movies on PBS Friday Night Movies-- I have called together this meeting to tackle our next important issue: How to read more books than our spare time allows? Any suggestions? Keep in mind that the previously suggested "Book Goggles" have been scratched temporarily due to some Lazy Eye allegations.
Joan : "Well, what if we hire c-list actors, for example the weird guy from *batteries not included, to read the books in various voices, and we record them to listen to while doing reader UN-friendly activities like driving and walking the dog?"
Albert: "My god Joan I think you've got something there!")

Sorry I trailed off there, I'm just sharing with you how my mind really works... Anyway, I have listened to soo many books and watched sooo many television shows at work. It is amazing. I spend most of my day, not couped up in my cubicle, but in Smallville or Scranton; Narnia or Forks, Washington. (As if I could get thru a blog without mentioning Twilight.) And I do all of this averaging about 20 claims per hour more than my job requires.

So I guess what I am trying to say, is that I love my job! It is the most flexible stress free job I have ever had, it allows me to stay home and participate in the lives of my children (and husband) and I only have to be here 3 DAYS A WEEK! Hooray for work!

Yep, that's really how I'm ending this. Thanks for stopping by...Oh and did I mention 6 hours down and 6 to go? :)